Inside the Mind of a Narcissist: 8 Reoccurring Thoughts

Image by Gisela Merkuur from Pixabay

It’s tricky to get inside the mind of a narcissist

Narcissists are catastrophically self-unaware—hard to believe, I know.

How narcissists are created: the two-ingredient cocktail

While every individual is different, there is a general consensus that two main ingredients must be present in the childhood cocktail that creates the future narcissist: emotional abandonment and an emphasis on the material/superficial aspects of life.

The Royal Beggar

How can a child be both abandoned and praised? Easily, and it happens more often than you can imagine.

1. “I have the worst luck.”

Narcissists are hesitant to self-examine or criticize themselves aloud, so any critical thoughts they think about themselves are typically kept silent and private (unless they believe it will gain them positive attention and/or approval).

2. “Nobody likes me.”

Of course, as aforementioned, you’ll never hear a narcissist say a negative thing about themself out loud—but inside, this phrase is on repeat.

3. “What are they thinking?”

One of the defining features of individuals who display symptoms of NPD is their obsession with the thoughts of others.

4. “Everyone is looking at me.”

It seems counterintuitive that adults who were once ignored as children would feel as if everyone is constantly looking at them, but that’s where their childhood caregiver’s focus on superficial approval and material wealth comes into play.

5. “I am so empathetic.”

If you ask a narcissist, they will tell you that they are the most empathetic person around—in fact, some may go a step further and explain that they can feel “the vibes of a room” as soon as they walk in, or that they are dreadfully sensitive to “the moods and states of being” of others.

6. “I am so charming.”

People who exhibit symptoms of NPD fancy themselves to be extremely charming. They believe that when they are in the right mood, they can flip a switch and charm the pants off of anyone—and they can—sort of.

7. “I’m great with kids and pets.”

This is an interesting one, because it’s true—to a point.

8. “I’ve sacrificed everything.”

People with symptoms of NPD are “the great givers”—in their own minds.

Can Narcissistic Personality Disorder be healed?

The answer is—it depends.

A final word.

The inner world of an individual with NPD is chaotic, stressful, and anxiety-ridden. While an individual with NPD may present as a charismatic, charming, and even sexual and exciting, this image deteriorates rapidly the closer you are to their inner-circle, where spouses and immediate family often bear the painful consequences of their real behavior (unless they, too, are narcissists).

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Amanda Dollinger

Amanda Dollinger

The highest purpose of words is that they be used to connect one another.