I Will Attend Your Gender Reveal Party, but Please Forgive Me If I Groan

Image by Marc Leos from Pixabay

The Harmless

A reason to celebrate.

We’re all looking for a reason to celebrate—especially in the wake of quarantine isolation and social distancing. But let’s be honest—even pre COVID-19, people were looking for reasons to celebrate—and why the hell shouldn’t they?

The Harmful

It’s selfish.

Arguably the most obvious aspect of a gender reveal party is the self-indulgent nature of it.

Let’s face it — gender reveal parties are not for the unborn themselves — they’re for the intended caregivers.

I defer to my previous statement about celebration—I honor and appreciate any well-intentioned celebration—but I also appreciate a level of thoughtfulness, introspection, and alignment with one’s values when executing some kind of celebratory event. Because the unborn has given us no indication about their psychological or behavioral alignment with their genitalia (which is really their business, anyway), what exactly are we celebrating?

Reinforcing social norms.

“Social norms” is not something you may typically hear without some kind of political mish-mash thrown in, but stick with me and we will glide through this next part without getting even the least bit political—I promise.

Is it truly that which hangs (or doesn’t hang) between your child-to-be’s legs that gives you something to love?

No—not at all. It’s what you think their gender represents.

The Cost

“There are so many things to worry about, Amanda—why pick on the innocent gender reveal party? So a few stereotypes are reinforced, whatever. I lived with them—your parents lived with them—and we made it out okay…”



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Amanda Dollinger

Amanda Dollinger


The highest purpose of words is that they be used to connect one another.