Drowning
I strain for air, I find water.
The joy of being buoyant is defeated by the pain of being submerged.
How can I find my way out?
My bones are strong, my muscles, limber.
Always eager to be perceived as a lover, I confess, I’m a fighter, too.
I kick toward the surface, desperate to survive.
I need a breath, a break, a respite.
From beneath dark waves, my face is born. I suck in just enough air to live before the sea pushes my head back into her void.
Does she not see my suffering?!
Perhaps it’s not all about me.
Perhaps this is not a punishment.
Perhaps the sea is lonely, too.
Perhaps no one will listen to her pain, her longing, her passion.
Perhaps she is only sought out when people want good feelings, but abandoned when the weather changes.
There is something to be learned here
The bliss of pain.
The solitude of healing.
My salty tears mingle with hers, and I become part of the great ocean.
She’ll carry me, if I let her.
I understand now.
This isn’t about trying not to drown at all.
It’s about learning to float.
